Couples Than Plan Together Stay Together
When you start taking a relationship seriously, when you get married and you intend to live a life together, a relationship becomes more than about love. Love certainly plays the largest part in keeping two people together, but the fact is that it’s a shared life if all goes well. Both parties need to make sure that their life is heading in the direction they want. Without that, motivations don’t fit, communications break down and arguments begin. If a marriage needs to stay strong, then you need to talk about the future.
The household
One of the simplest things to plan together is the creation of a household that works as a unit. The proper use of finances, how the both of you get them in order, and what the plans with those finances are. Most people share the same long-term goals when it comes to finances. Build a nest egg for emergencies, for retirement and for the education of any kids. Perhaps there are some plans for investment as well. What matters is that the two of you get together, create budgets and organize your finances as a team. What portion is contributed by each side? What money is left for personal spending? Without discussing these first, it’s all too easy for assumptions to lead to arguments about who is using money the right way.
The family
When you marry someone, you agree to make them your family. Which means it’s a good idea that the two of you have an idea of how that family is going to look. The discussion of whether or not to have children should have been had before a marriage. Just as important, however, is deciding when you don’t want to have any more kids. Discussing the potential of a vasectomy, for instance, if neither of you currently want any more children. Vasectomies are one of the most effective methods of birth control for a couple. At the same time, the fact that it’s reversible in most cases doesn’t close the door for changing the plan in the future.
The career
A career isn’t just someone’s personal aspirations. It will dictate a lot of things in family life. Not just monetarily, but the whole schedule of a family and the location of it can come down to the career, too. You need to talk about whether and where you want your family to set routes and potential plans for future careers. If you both have a career, then you both need to understand the importance of one another’s work and compromise when necessary. Are either of you willing to let the other’s career takes precedence if they start moving in opposite directions? Careers can go in all kinds of directions, so the two of you should be able to work around one another with a bit of creative thinking.
There will be strong feelings on both sides about any of the topics above. But very few of them lead to impassable gulfs. There’s always room for compromise, so make sure to be patient with one another when you’re making these plans.
