Being Reborn: Getting Through Your Break-Up Unscathed
There are very few things in life that can be as stressful and traumatic as break ups. A lot of the time you feel as though you’re grieving, as though someone has died – and some of the time you might wish that your ex was dead! But the truth is that given time, you will get over the end of your marriage and you will feel happy and whole again. Here are some tips to help…
First and foremost, make sure that you stay offline. This is a particularly important tip if you wouldn’t have chosen to split – if you see pictures of your ex having a great time with his new partner or, in fact, doing pretty much anything at all, then it will absolutely not make you feel great – you need to cut him off as much as you can to preserve your own sanity, and stalking him online won’t help (and nor will the embarrassment when you accidentally like an Instagram picture that’s seventy-two weeks old). People curate the information that they put online about themselves to only show the great moments and not when they feel lonely or frustrated or sad or when their kids are fighting and you might find it hard to remember that if you feel a little blue too. Stay offline and out of other people’s lives.
Sort Out Your Finances
After a split it’s absolutely crucial to make sure that you protect your own finances and that you get exactly what you’re entitled to from your ex. Even though he might make a lot of promises right after you break up, don’t believe him – when he realizes how everything actually costs when you’re trying to run two households, and when the guilt has faded, he’ll get a lot more stingy with his money. Make sure that you hire a lawyer as quickly as possible and that you get everything put down in writing. It can be rough if you’re divorced and splitting a home – you might be sad at leaving the place where your kids grew up, and your beloved kitchen, and the back yard you spent years working on – but it’s important to do your absolute best to view it as a new start instead of a painful ending.
Get Out There
Finally, it’s important to look at your break up as the rebirth of you as an individual rather than the death of your marriage. This is your chance to do what you want – to spread out in bed, to eat what you want in the evenings, to watch exactly what you want on TV. You don’t have to listen to his discontented huffing when you try to watch Real Housewives any more, and you finally have the time to start painting again, or writing the novel you always dreamed of, or starting to go to French classes in the evenings. Spend time with your family and friends and everyone that you love most – and chances are, you’ll start to feel better before you expect it.