5 Pieces of Advice for Having Difficult Conversations with Your Teen

Raising teenagers is complicated. They are no longer children, but they have yet to reach adulthood either. This ambiguous stage of life can be challenging to navigate for the adolescents as well as for their parents. Unfortunately, the task does not have an accompanying guidebook, but there are tips parents can use to get through some of the bigger bumps in the parenting road.

If you are struggling to have a difficult conversation with your teen, then consider employing some of the tactics below to foster meaningful dialog.

1. Be Vulnerable

Teens will not want to open up and talk to you if they see you as this perfect authority figure. You will first need to break down some barriers and show your child that you make mistakes too. Try beginning the conversation with an embarrassing, touching, or insightful study from your own upbringing. This will help your child to realize that what they are going through is not unique to them. Once they realize that they are not alone and that you are not perfect either then they will be much more likely to open up and discuss their problems.

2. Do Not Accuse

Put your ego aside for a moment when you speak to your child. It is far more important that your child gets the help and support that they need then you proving to them that you are right. In most cases, teens understand that what they are doing is not the best for them they do not need to hear from you again how wrong it is. Try to spin the conversation in a positive direction and talk about what can be improved rather than the negative repercussions of their actions. Keeping the conversation positive encourages conversation rather than suppressing it.

3. Do Not Give a Lecture

Make sure that you keep your interaction a dialog rather than a monologue. Give your child plenty of time to talk, and make sure that you really take the time to listen. Your child will want to talk to you if they feel heard. They will not want to communicate with you if they feel it is a futile endeavor. Don’t be afraid of silence either, take the time to formulate what you need to say and leave space for your child to do the same.

4. Express Empathy and Compassion

Let your child know that the reason this conversation is occurring is because you care deeply about their health and wellbeing. You need to make it clear that you are not trying to infringe on their freedom or privacy. Instead, you are just trying to make sure that they are living their life as fully as possible. Make sure your child is aware of the fact that you are making an honest attempt to understand their point of view and help them. The focus should always be on your child.

5. Ask What They Need from You

Do not assume that you have all the answers. Your child may become overwhelmed if you immediately confront them with a long list of solutions. Ask your child what they think would help their situation. Let them feel empowered and in control of their own life improvement. Most importantly let them know that you want to help them and are ready to do whatever it takes to help them succeed.

The most thing to keep in mind throughout any difficult conversation is your child’s wellbeing. Regardless of the situation, it is important that your child receives the care and attention that they need. If it is rehab that they need then it is important to find a rehab that fits their individual needs. You need to make sure to gather enough information from your child to ensure that they get the treatment, help, or support that they need. That is why difficult conversations are so vital and important to healthy parent-child relationships.