Troubled Teen – 6 Things You Should Never Say to a Teen Struggling with Anxiety
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It can be difficult for non-anxious parents to deal with a teen who struggles with anxiety. Despite their well-meaning intentions, parents may utter certain phrases that can actually make anxiety worse rather than better.
Children and teens take their cues from their parents, so you must stay calm and positive when trying to help your anxious teen cope with their feelings. With this in mind, here are several things you should never say to a teen who struggles with anxiety.
1. “It’s No Big Deal”
To your teen, anxious feelings are a big deal and so is the trigger that’s causing it. Their worries could be impacting their peer and family relationships as well as their school performance.
If you see your teen is worried about something, talk with them about it. For general anxiety, you may wish to suggest doing some deep breathing exercises together. For school-related stress, it may be time to organize an online tutor who will make it easier to stay on top of schoolwork.
2. “Don’t Worry About It”
You can’t magically take away your child’s anxiety by telling them to not worry about it. By saying this, you imply that their worries are unreasonable or unnecessary, effectively communicating to your teen that they can’t talk to you about their anxiety. Instead, let them know they can talk to you about their fears, and only offer solutions if they say that’s what they want.
3. “You’re Fine”
An anxious mind feels anything but “fine.” When your teen’s mind is racing, fine is not something that resonates with them, so telling them they’ll be fine only makes them feel more anxious. Instead, try reminding them that you’re here to help, and encourage them to talk to you about how they’re feeling.
4. “There’s Nothing to Be Afraid of”
In a teen’s world, there’s plenty to be afraid of – rejection by peers, poor grades, not getting into college, and an endless list of other issues. Being afraid is normal. You can’t wish it away with a simple phrase, but you can help alleviate your teen’s fears by letting them know your door is always open to talk.
5. “You Just Need More Sleep”
The anxious teen mind tends to race once the busy day is over and they’ve gotten into bed at night. Even if your teen wants to sleep, their brain may kick into overdrive and keep them awake. This isn’t their fault, but you can do your part to help them relax before bed. Introducing them to meditation may help. You can also try an aroma diffuser filled with calming essential oils like lavender or frankincense.
6. “I’ll Do It for You”
Teens want to be independent, but anxiety may get in the way and make them feel incapable of doing even the most basic things. Watching an anxious teen try to do something and fail is tough for parents. You may think you’re helping by doing the task for your child, but in reality, you’d just be robbing them of the chance to learn the coping skills they’ll need to live with anxiety as an adult.
Rather than doing things for your teen, be open, honest, and encouraging. To show support, you can say something like, “I know you’re feeling anxious, but I also know you can do this.”
As a parent, it can be difficult dealing with a teen who struggles with anxiety. Many well-meaning parents say things that hinder rather than help. To avoid these unintentional blunders, make sure you never utter the phrases listed above when talking to your anxious teen.
